Don't Vote Video

this is a great PSA video about voting .. while it's too late to register I sent this to a few friends anyway. 

My Dear Trixie

On Sunday, September 13, 2008, Louisville saw the unpredicted side effects of Hurrican Ike. As a result over 75% of the LG&E and Duke customers were left without power. We were one of them. 

On Wednesday, September 17, 2008, I came home from my daily work bike ride commute and opened the door to let the dogs out. Trixie did not come right away, although it wasn't the first time she didn't hear me. My youngest female dog looked as if she had rubbed her face in something, which was odd. I then started calling for her and noticed that my male dog went back inside, which was also uncommon. He went to the spot where Trixie lay. She was laying there on the floor, facing away from me. 

In a sad hope that she was just resting I rustled the dogs in, threw my things down and went to her. She had passed away during the day and, in hind sight, I'm guessing was about 30 minutes to one hour before I had opened the door. 

This is truly heart breaking. 

Trixie came to live with me in June 2007 as a foster dog for the IMPS rescue, a rescue that I volunteered for. She had come in to the rescue along with another dog, Buddy. He was Heartworm positive and she had 6 - 8 tumors around her breasts that were immediately removed. Unfortunately they were not tested for cancer but I can only assume they were cancerous. They were puppy mill animals and I'm assuming they were no longer worth keeping. They were set to be put down that day and a rescue working rushed in to save them and bring them into the rescue.

Trixie lived with me from June 2007 until September 17, 2008. She looked older but was the biggest puppy in the household. She had a sweetness about her that you could not help but worship. She just wanted to lay there and give you kisses as long as you'd let her. She was a truly remarkable dog, however she was overlooked by people because she had a white face and 'appeared' to be an older dog. She wanted to cuddle in your lap, she had to sleep touching you, she found toys in the house that disappeared years ago, ... I mean she was a dog that you ended up worshipping. 

In October 2007 I noticed spot on her chest and we went to the vet to have them looked at. Surgery soon followed, which included the removal of the tumor and two of her breasts. The biopsy results showed the tumor was cancerous. Soon after we began chemo-therapy. After weeks of chemo we began the countdown to hopefully a long and healthy life for a dog that really deserved it. After everything she had gone through and after everything she had to offer the world, she DESERVED to have a long and amazing life. 

The scans in April came back clean. Crystal clear. I could barely sleep leading up to the scans just out of fear of what the results would be. I wanted to scream and celebrate because we made 6 months. The doctors said that if we made it a year Trixie's long term prognosis would improve significantly. 

We were at 11 months.

I wish I would have been there just to remind her that I loved her. I hate that I had no warning of this. The last time I saw her I was hugging her, as she was air kissing me a hundred times, and telling her that I love her. She was perfectly healthy, completely happy, and as lovable as ever. Why couldn't I have been prepared? Why wasn't I warned?

It appears sudden whatever happened and I hope that it was. I'm told that what happened to her is similar with cancerous tumors so maybe one had come before we made it to the next scan. I will unfortunately never know and have to live with unanswered questions now. She at least was in the company of the other dogs, and the one that loved her the most appeared to be there next to her until I got home. 

She deserved a longer life .. I just feel so robbed in all of this. 

A few months ago I had even decided that Trixie was not going to leave my house because I don't think I could have let her go. Besides I don't think anyone would have loved or appreciated her the way that I did. I never made the formal decision but in my heart she was mine. 

I am torn between being upset and feeling numb. I think because Trixie was so healthy that it hasn't fully hit me yet that she's not here. I just cannot believe that she's gone .. I mean she wasn't sick. I knew that she was not 'cured' but from how she acted I never saw an ending in her life. I expected years and years with her. But I am thankful for the time I had with her, and that the time is longer than what she would have had otherwise. 

So .. I sadly sit here, and after 6 days of being powerless I have my electricity on. In the moment I want to rejoice in the moment I can't help but remember that she's not here to take it in with us. I will miss her so much .. she was such an amazing dog .. 

pajama party

yums .., originally uploaded by joschmoblo.

one of the perks of working for velocity ...

i was finished with my assignment and decided to stay and watch the show, even though i was minus the low light lenses. in the process of 'waiting' i decided to take a few shots for my own.

life is innocent and precious

life is innocent and precious, originally uploaded by joschmoblo.

while i'm not 'openly' an emotional person, it is hard for me to be rational when animal's lives are at stake.

this baby bunny was 'victim' to my father's dog a couple of weeks ago while we were visiting him for father's day.

the bunny IS alive when i took this photo. anyway, before my dad placed the bunny back with it's mother, i 'freaked' out and called the vet because it didn't feel right to me.

as i suspected, now that the baby contained a foreign smell from the dog it was surely to have it's life ended by it's mother as soon as it was returned to it's home.

needless to say the bunny and i took a 25 minute car ride to shively animal hospital were it was then rescued by an animal sanctuary. it will now live a long healthy life in an animal sanctuary instead of seeing and unfortunately ending. and no, this is not the first animal i've taken to shively .. :o)

life lesson: if a baby animal is caught by another species and you try to save it, please DON'T RETURN IT TO IT'S NEST. instead call a place like shively to see if they can get the animal to a sanctuary. as the vet reassured me, returning the animal will ends it's life only a bit later than the dog may have.

anyway ...


yesterday, at the flickr mixr, a dog was left outside for a seriously extended amount of time, while the owners sat inside and took their time eating.

it was VERY humid, in the 80s, and sunny the whole time. the car had to be burning up. while the restaurant claimed to have called the police, someone along the line wasn't doing there just and did not come to see the situation. VERY upsetting.

where's the sense of responsibility and why do some many people think that it stops at humans???

it's at times like that when my red hair comes alive and i have to resist speaking my mind to their abusive animal owners ...

Updates and some rambles

I'm giving myself about ten minutes to catch up on things ... hahah .. with me and my tendency to ramble I may not get far.

1.) Trixie had her 6 month follow up xray to cancer. It came up clean .. :o) We're halfway towards a good long-term outcome for her. Yesterday I found a bump on her underside but it's where her mastectomy was so the doctors say that tumors should not be found there. Anyway it's literally less than a week after her scans so I'm forcing myself to NOT freak out and give it a day or two thinking it's just a skin infection or something.

2.) The holiday weekend was a good one. Nice and long although I did get a bit lazy at times. I stayed up way too late so I'll be HURTING when I have to get up for work in the morning.

3.) I jacked my back up two days (royally) although it's better now .. I pretty much just bit my lip and went on .. and I think I've mentally talked myself out of the pain. I do that more than I realize because I'll look down and there is a huge gash on my leg and I have no clue where it came from .. hahah

4.) My niece's birthday was this weekend .. Great day .. my sister is keeping my cousin's daughter for a few days this week and so she was there too. We went bike riding multiple times, played with bubbles, played games, etc. It was fun to play with the girls and I always look forward to it. My cousin's daughter gave me a big bear hug and told me I was the coolest adult ever .. I love that .. :o) I was super cool Saturday night too .. we had a Wii game night with the girls which included primarily TONS of 4 player Mario Kart and my sister and I working on our co-op career in Guitar Hero. Haha .. good times .. :)

5.) My niece got a pug for her birthday .. too cute. My sister bought it 3 weeks ago and My Dad and his wife eagerly volunteered to parent it so my niece wouldn't find out. I bet my Dad's wife went home and sulked over missing that dog .. talk about a cute pug!!

6.) I shot on Abbey Road this weekend and learned why I'll never pay $25 to go see that. Just not my thing .. I mean the Beatles are cool and all but I just didn't see why people were paying $25 to see a bunch of tribute bands. Oh well .. for those who did they appeared to be thoroughly enjoying themselves so it all works out in the end. Met some hot photog but dangit if he wasn't from NY .. oh well .. still nice eye candy, eh?

Ok .. ten minutes is up and yea, I barely touched the surface. I'd like to say I'll do this more often, but I probably won't .. oh well .. maybe I'll look into mobile blogging ...

At a loss

So .. I don't blog enough.

Not that it's important to get things here, but that there are details worth writing down that I don't make the time to take note of.

For an extended time now a sibling of someone close to me has been slowly passing away. While there has been more notice than in some cases, is there ever enough?

That person passed on last night.

Given the impression that they're doing ok, it was upsetting to call and hear the opposite. I'm used to someone who is strong and has an answer to everything, and the voice on the other end of the call was not from that person. It really hurts me to know that they're suffering as much as they are.

It reminds me that no matter how strong and brave we are, in the end we are all human and we all have our weaknesses. Family being one of them.

Loved ones dying is such a sore subject with me. Most of my life I lived without having anyone immediately connected to me. Then it happened. Ever since then, the thought of a close loved one passing reminds me of how much that hurts and how it leaves you destroyed and barely surviving.

I remember that it was something I emotionally barely survived and the thought of them going through that now is just so upsetting. While I know it's a part of life, I still don't think it's fair.

Race Results to date

Papa John's 10 Miler
Time:
Finish = 2:12:22
Pace: 00:13:14 minute mile
Run Speed: 4.53 miles/ hour

Goose Creek 5k (3.1 miles)
Time:
Finish = 35:58
Pace: 00:11:34 minute mile
Run Speed: 5.18 miles/ hour

Derby Festival Mini-Marathon (13.1 miles)
April 26, 2008
Times:
5k = 1:17:10
10k = 1:55:51
15k / Finish = 2:43:33
Pace: 00:12:29 minute mile
Run Speed: 4.81 miles/ hour


Next Year's Goals for the Papa John's 10 Miler and the Mini Marathon:
Papa Johns: finish in 2 hours or better with a pace of 00:12:00 minute miles and running speed of 5.0.
Mini Marathon: finish in 2:30:00 or better with a pace of 00:11:27 minute miles and runing speed of 5.23.


I really think that I can easily do better than that, assuming I can further strengthen my weak knees. I plan to continue training and reevaluate this later